Litter Box

Hello everyone!

It is hot and humid on Long Island, and the heat in my apartment is blasting ( I live above the boiler and haver no control over it) so the temperature in my apt. is a steady 84 degrees F. Its disgusting...

If y'all remember my story about going around in a limo with Dana's cousin and her cousins husband...The cousin's husband (the rich Indian man who lived in Queens) passed away2 weeks ago...he was 30, he died of chirrosis of the liver, apparently he was on the list for a new liver, but he never got it. His remains were flown back to Bangladesh.

Since Dana's cousin did not live with her husband, she gave away almost everything in his apartment. So, she called up Dana and said that she had a really nice queen mattress and bed frame if we wanted to come pick it up (last weekend). Since Daana and I sleep on the full bed that I bought for $225 back in college, we thought it sounded like a good idea. We rented a pickup truck, enlisted a second driver ( our friend Judy, who we wanted our current bed--she sleeps on a twin bed) and went on our merry way.

We made it to the apartment in good time, greeted Dana's cousin...who showed us around the now nearly empty apartment. He husband's parents has flown in from India, stripped the apartment of almost anything valuable and flew back to India with it (including sex toys her husband kept in the spare bedroom for the lesbian strippers he used to hire).

We were given a really great computer desk that we had to take apart to get out of the room. and then the $1100 dollar bed had to be carried down to the truck. There was one little thing that we were not informed about the bed--the three persian kitties that lived in the apartment had used this glorious bed as their own comfy, cushy toilet. We did not really know how bad it was until we removed it from the "kitty room" and got into the fresh air in the bed of the pickup. This bed mattress was disgusting. Here we were in the middle of Queens with a trunk we had rented (for two days because car rental places are obvoisly all run by the same people who run Chick-Fil-A, because they are not open on Sundays and all rentals must be kept until Monday morning--and paid for) a girl we had promised our bed to, and a litter box on wheels...

So we drove home from queens with the mattress and desk in the back of the truck (the whole time terrified that I would hit a pothole and the mattress and desk would go flying and kill Judy who was driving behind us, just like the story I remember reading about this guy and kid who put a washing machine in their truck, then somehow it went flying and hit someone's car and killed them). But we made it safe and sound back to Bayport. We parked the truck, and went to lunch at Friendly's--to regroup. We had some mozzarella sticks, tuna melts and ice cream before we rented a steam cleaner and bought all kinds of cleaning products.

We steam cleaned the fucker three times (there were yellow pee stains ALL OVER THE FREAKIN' MATTRESS), fabreezed it, and used a bottle of pet odor remover and let it dry overnight. The next morning, all of the stains were gone, but there was still a strong cat pee smell. We let it dry even longer in the sun all day...

When I got home from work on Sunday we had to make our decision. The truck was going back on Monday morning. We either had to throw the mattress away or put it in our room and deliver our old bed to Judy. We brought the pee filled (but no longer stained) mattress in...we laid on it...we through a sheet over it and laid on it again...we shoved our noses into it, covered it with our mattress pad...and in the end, we couldn't throw away the mattress. I said goodbye and delivered my old bed.

We got home, and put the new bed together. I bought risers for the bed, thinking they would give us a couple of inches under the bed for needed extra storage. However these lifts looked more like flower pots under the bed and it now stand at almost chest height. I have to leap onto it, and my feet dangle far from the ground when I sit on the edge. We slept on it that night, and really can't smell the cat urine at all. Or I was so permeated by it, I now can no longer smell it.

Thats my long drawn out story, thanks for reading it...